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Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Quiet Contemplation...

I have felt for a while that I was heading into some form of a faith crisis or a personal storm. I could feel it bubbling up within me. I could feel the doubts cloud my mind. I found myself questioning aspects I had not questioned before...

My main concern was not myself, but others. I consider myself to be a very open-minded person, perhaps too open-minded. Because my concern was this: All other religions have just as much conviction as Christians have. Why then are we so certain we are the "right" ones? I just had trouble accepting that all of those that don't believe exactly the same thing as I do will not find eternal salvation. I find that thought to be utterly disturbing and depressing. I hate the thought that people that are just "mislead" are going to find they are out of luck on Judgement Day. How can we know that we will not be the ones that are shocked and surprised at the end of this battle? If they know they are right, just as we know we are right... how can anyone be 100% certain? I know Christianity has all the arguments, and I believe them, but don't the others have their own arguments, as well? This has plagued me.




I found myself questioning whether this way was the right way. I found myself wondering if my Dad was really going to head to "hell" because he has not accepted Jesus as his personal savior. I know that to be the truth, the TRUTH, but surely you can imagine the trouble I find accepting this in general thought... I struggled.


However, throughout this past two weeks I have been praying a lot more, asking God to help me understand. To help me see. And in this past week, various things have been opened up to me, and last night brought what I needed out into plain view. First, I just felt my heart softening. God brought to my attention that I had become hard towards Him. Doubt after doubt was placed in my mind in an attepmt by Satan to pull me away from the truth. Through various "oh wow" experiences this past week, I felt God washing over me, letting me know He was in fact with me - reminding me of His awesomeness and power. Bible studies and the very cheesy, but very good movie "Fireproof" both really helped in reminding me of who Jesus is. And then, last night, during my weekly Supper & Study meeting with Mountaineers for Christ... I saw.


The Great Commission.


Our talk last night led into a discussion about the very things I was having so many troubles with. It led me to remember that my call, the call of all Christians, is to spread the Good News. I had trouble with salvation being so cut and dry, so black and white... when I tend to see in shades of gray. But it does appear, through the God's Word, that it IS black and white, cut and dry. Jesus is the way, the only way. I realized that God will do what He sees fit on the day of judgement, but it is my duty now to do what He commands of me. And that is to spread the gospel to all I can.


For a while now, Loren and I have planned on going on a mission trip in some far off land, possible with Jennalea and Scott, too. We both have felt a call to do that for some time, long before we ever came together as a couple. But, it dawned on me that I cannot head overseas when I have so much work to do here, even in my own family. I am one of the few, possibly the only, Christian in my family (immediate and extended). How could I neglect their need to hear of Jesus' love? Their eternal life is at stake, how could I ignore that? The answer is: I cannot ignore it any longer.


I no longer doubt. My storm has passed and I am eager to pursue the avenues that God has shown me. I have my work cut out for me... but I do not fear.


Then Jesus came to them and said, "All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age."
Matthew 28:18-20

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